


The Neils.

by jupiters_saturn, shadystar



Category: No Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-05-25 22:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14987096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jupiters_saturn/pseuds/jupiters_saturn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadystar/pseuds/shadystar
Summary: Neils. Neils. We Are The Neils.casey neistat tries to become a Neil.But This Neil Is Not The Real Deal.Will He Ever Become A Real Neil?





	1. The First Attempt

Knees.  
Kneecaps….  
Kneebones…..  
Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep  
“Ah Fuck Thats The Sound Of My Totino’s Pizza Rolls.” exclaimed neil degrasse tyson, neilly. “They Are Mad.”  
“Oh God, Tyson, Whatever Did You Do This Time To Anger Them…” neil cicierega sighed, smh shaking his head. “You Can’t Keep Doing This”  
“Oh Well Im SORRY Mr Oh Fuck The State Has Nightmares Real? Thats Not Correct.” neil degrasse tyson said defensively. “Also, I Told Them Their Kins…………………………………..”

neil degrasse tyson took a moment……..

“Aren’t. Valid.”  
neil cicierega gasped in horror, a look of pure disgust on his face. “how could you just….DO that….” he started, “AND YOU DON’T KNWO WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT I CAREENED DOWN A HILL IN THOSE HEELIES..I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, DEGRASSE” he yelled in opposition.

“Ahhhhhh,,,,, Kneel….. Neilly. Can I Call You Knees?” neil degrasse tyson chortled like a baron, “Knees, My Boy…….. You Must Understand…. Kinnies Aren’t Valid.” neil degrasse tyson chortled like a baron again. “After All….You Kinned Trucks Once, And Look How That Turned out.” neil cicierega choked back tears, clenching his fists, in a mix of distasteful feelings. “YOU CAN’T SHAME ME LIKE THIS...I-I AM VALID….MY MOMMY SAID SO”

SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE AT ALL EVER AT ANY POINT IN TIME EVER CASEY ‘NEIL’ NEISTAT BROKE IN!!!  
“Hey guys Wats going on here Some kind of Kin Drama Thing Wats Happening Im Neil Neistat”

neil ‘truck’ cicierega slowly lifted his head up. “... What .” as the shame and sadness ascended from his body, his demeanor becoming confused, perhaps even amused by this sudden turn of events. 

“Heh……” neil the grassy tyson chuckled under his breath, his- oh my god- his left eye turning bright glowing blue, indicating that his sans powers had been activated. “Neilly boy.. What do you say We.. Heh… Put our differences Aside and take care of this…” sans degrasse tyson reached out his hand to neil ‘truck’ cicierega, “this…. **Pest.** ”

neil ‘truck’ cicierega paused, looking at sand and grass tighten and processing this moment. will he set aside his issues with sans..?  
…  
he smiled, with a glint of determination in his eyes, and nodded, taking sans’ hand. “Let’s.”

“S-SUBSCRIBE AND COMMENT! AND DONT FORGET TO HIT THAT N-N-N-N-NOTIFICATION B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BELL!” CASEY NEIL NEISTAT SHOUTED, UNPREPARED FOR THE FULL FORCE OF A TRUCK AND A SCIENCE SKELETON TO BE THROWN AT HIM AT FULL FORCE, SENDING HIM INTO THE ASTRAL PLANE WITHOUT HIM _EVEN NEEDING TO ASTRAL PROJECT_

It was **Wild.**

“TEAM NEILSTAT’S BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAAAAaaaain……..”

sans smirked. “Heh. Good Job, Bro.” he said, smirkingly, and held out his fist for a FistBumb™.  
truck chuckled. “y-you too” he said, returning the FistBumb2.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep  
“OH FUCK THEY’RE STILL MAD” said neil degrasse tyson, unsansing.  
“ **SHIT** ” neil exclaimed. he had forgotten why this all started in the first place!! :(

 

Beep beep beep beep beep “NEIL- I-I MEAN TRUCK! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE THEY DECIDE THAT WE AREN’T WORTHY TO BE IN THEIR PRESENCE, THUS TURNING US TO TOTINO ASHES!”  
truck was making Anxious TruckNoises™!! this was all too much….

And Then He Realized.  
“SANS...WE- WE NEED THEM TO KNOW THAT THEIR KINS ARE VALID! I-IT’S THE ONLY WAY!”

“ _TRUCK ONE OF THEM KINS KOMAEDA AND I DON’T THINK I’M READY EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY TO VALIDATE THAT KIND OF CURSED ENERGY_ ” SANS SAID, OBVIOUSLY UNAWARE THAT SANS KINS KOMAEDA (A/N: fake fan? xd)  
truck winced when he heard the news, it was simply a reflex. “SANS...I KNOW IT’S HARD, BUT…” “..I…” truck paused. he looked sans in the eye. “..I Can’t Do This, By Myself.” truck said. it would take more than some random truck to ease the rage of the Totino’s Pizza Rolls.

sans looked down at his hands….he didn’t know what to do… he can’t just humiliate himself into thinking that someone who kins komaeda is valid… but…  
sans looked up at truck, his eyes screamed that he didn’t know what to do….he remembered what he was hearing just two seconds ago… truck’s Anxious TruckNoises™…. He Had To Do This, If Not For Himself, But For Truck.

“.......alright.”  
truck smiled slightly, a look of relief washed over his face. he knew this wasn’t going to be easy for either one of them, but knowing that sans was willing to overcome his fight or flight response only motivated him further.

he looked in the direction of the totino’s pizza rolls.

sans cleared his throat. “ATTENTION SMOL PIZZA ROLLS!” (A/N: the pizza rolls insist on being called smol) smol pizza rolls turned their attention to the two, some immediately grimacing at the sound of his voice, knowing Exactly Who He Is And What He Did.

“SMOL TOTINO’S PIZZA ROLLS…” sans begun, feeling every bone in his body (all 400 of them) screaming at him to stop what he was doing, “YOUR KINS… A-ARE… V-”

he couldn’t do it.

sans collapsed on the ground, sobbing. “t-t-truck… y-you have to finish it… i-i’m too weak to go on…”  
truck looked down at sans. “sans, i-i….” he looked around at what had become of this once normal day. he took a deep breath. “..i got this.”

he turned to the smol totino’s pizza roles, ready to force out this sentence to the best of his abilities. “YOUR KINS.. ARE V-VALID.” “ALL OF YOU. YOU, OVER THERE!” he said, pointing to a smol pizza roll in the crowd. “WHO DO YOU KIN?”  
“i kin komaeda” it said in a monotone voice. “WELL YOU’RE VALID!” truck said brightly, and turned his attention to another pizza roll. “WHO DO _YOU_ KIN?”  
“i- i kin japan and gewmany fwom h-hetawia, sir!!  >w<” “W-WELL YOU’RE VALID TOO!”  
“AND YOU!” he pointed to an extra smol pizza roll in the back, who seemed to be the purest smol bean ever. “WHO DO YOU KIN?”

“i-i kin… y-you.” the extra smol pizza roll spoke up, shakily. it’s had its kins be shamed for so long… it expected the same reaction of disgust and hatred. pure kinphobia.

truck’s expression changed. his new look was not one of disgust, simply shock. he never thought.. that someone would be kinning _him_.

truck smiled at the extra smol pizza roll. “..wellm, i’m flattered. And You’re Valid Too.” he said, with a kind and gentle tone. “ **All Of You… Are Valid.** ”

sans weakly looked up at truck… “t-truck..” truck turned his attention to sans. he was somewhat exhausted from, well, Doing That, but he smiled through it.

“y-you did… g-great.” sans degrasse tyson quietly said. “i-” and then he passed out.  
truck’s lips parted, he stood in surprise. he smiled. “Thank You, Sans-Kun.” truck said, although knowing sans couldn’t hear it.

“HEEEEY!” shouted a bold pizza roll, who obviously kinned asdfmovie as a whole, “YOU TWO SHOULD _**KISS!**_ ” 

this was followed by at least 100 totino’s pizza rolls giggling.

truck’s eyes widened at this sound, and his face was dusted with a shade of red as bright as the shiny red truck he mained. “U-u-u-u-u-uh i- i-...” he fidgeted nervously, looking down at the ground. “j-jeeze…” he muttered.

truck looked down at sans, still fidgeting nervously. ‘gosh, i’m glad sans isn’t awake now...he’d probably think i’m being ridiculous.’ he thought to himself, and sighed.

 

‘What Would He Ever See In Me?’


	2. Bodd Strikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an old friend comes to visit.

Neils 2: elec 

>:) sans degrasse tyson was playing minecraft hypixel edition online with his Good Online Friend :-) Bodd_Toward. he cared Very Much for Bodd, even though they only ever played minecraft Sky war fight. Then He (Sans) Said That He Had To Go. Eat. :-) But Wait!

“Sans i have something to tell you” said bodd but through the game because he cannot really speak. “What” replied sans

“Sans, i …” “i need to know your opinion on Kinnies.”

“Whell Bodd! I Am A Kinnie And I Am A Sans :-) Why Do You Ask my Dearest friend”

“Heh… Never mind, it’s not important. go eat”

“Oh Okay! :-)”

and then sans logged off to go and join his good friend truck at the food table to eat. Yum Yum!

 

Truck awaited his good friend sans at the Food Table™. he had prepared an Eat. :-) “so truck did anything of importance happen as of late? any new discoveries of sorts? coming to terms with facts about yourself? Tell Me, Truck. I Want To Know.” said sans degrasse tyson, wanting to know.

Truck’s eyes widened, looking at sans. “uh, hah, wha- why would...why..wh” truck took a deep breath, and calmed himself. “Why Do You Ask?” he said, his eyes shifting around the room a few times. ‘fuck it’s obvious that i’m nervous isn’t it shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit’ he thought to Himself.

sans looked very confused. “Truck my Dearest companion and pal, you do not Have To Tell Me If You Feel The Not To. It Is-” 

Ding Dong said the door

“Do You Want To Get That, Truck? I Physically Cannot Get Up Off Of My Seat In The Middle Of My Meal.”

“U-u-u-uh y-y-y-y-hbr , yeah! Yeah of course i’ll get it right now i’m doing that i’m getting the door.” truck nervously forced out a sentence filled with nervous stammers, and rushed to the door, nervously.  
“baka **BAKA** _BAKA!!!_ ” truck muttered to himself, as he powerwalked to the door. “YOU MADE A COMPLETE FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF!!”  
he sighed, stopping at the door and opening it.

(A/N: read the following in a markiplier voice. no, the speaker is not markiplier but this is best read in his voice)

“Hello! I Am Bodd_Toward On Minecraft. In Real Life I Am Todd Howard And I Am Here To Speak To Sans. Are You Him?” said bodd/todd.

truck stood still like a deer in headlights. the headlights of a truck, that is. “u-uh………………………………………….” “n-no, uh, sans is. In the other room.”  
Truck was about to call him to the door, but then he realized that wouldn’t work. “Come in, please. He physically cannot get up from his seat in the middle of a meal.” truck said, starting to walk to the Food Room.

todd followed him to the Food Room. “Hello! I Am Bodd_Toward On M”

“ ** _BODD_TOWARD?????????????_** ” said sans, calmly. “i didn’t know you were coming!” sans said, in shock. “Heh. Yes but here i am. I Have Two Confessions To Make” :o todd turned to face truck. “May you Please step out of this room and also be sure to not eavesdrop just outside of this room? Thanks.”

everything was happening so fast, truck wasn’t even sure what to do. and who’s this bodd_toward???????? truck didn’t like him. not one bit.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” truck said, exiting the room and most definitely not eavesdropping just outside of the aforementioned room.

Todd cleared his throat. “Sans, we’ve Been playing minecraft together for years now.”

“heh... yeah. Minecraft sky war fight is a good game.” sans said fondly.

“And I-I-I. Lets Start With The Other Confession.” todd quickly said. “I. also kin sans.” “And Also I Think You Should Marry Me.”

 

Meanwhile, truck was shaking. he was struggling not to rev up his engines, as it would blow his cover. ‘i can’t _BELIEVE_ that this bodd_toward would just _WALTZ ON IN LIKE HE OWNS THE PLACE AND ASK MY S- I- I M- SANS… TO MARRY HIM!!!!!_ ” 

meanwhile, sans was in shock. he put down his Plastic Forkie onto the Food Table and took a deep breath. “Bodd, i,” sans said, slowly, “i,”

truck was panicking. He swore, he could cry right here. every inch of his body, mind, and soul were screaming at him to stop this madness. But he was so scared. What would sans think of him? Maybe this is what sans _wants?_ to be with bodd_toward? He couldn’t stand this feeling. his heart was going to burst out of his chest. 

“Bodd, I….” “ **Don’t Like Doubles.** ”

“W” said bodd.

“Bodd There Is Only One Persons I Care For IN THIS LIFE And Its Not. You.”

“Im Not Going Down Without A Fight” said bodd.

“Yes You Are.” said sans, proceeding to throw Plastic Forkie at bodd.

bodd chuckled, all sans-like, just to spite him. He caught Plastic Forkie…

With His Mouth.

**And He Ate Plastic Forkie.**

“FORKIE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” calmly whispered sans. Wait! He knew how to defeat bodd. One time during one of the most stressful intense minecraft sky war fight games bodd told sans…. “I Cannot Fight Around Trucks” so All He Had To Do Was Get Truck In Here And Bodd Would Be Gone For Ever.

Meanwhile, truck was so shaken and afraid, that he hadn’t even heard what was happening between sans and bodd. He drowned out all sounds, and all voices of reason. Because he just knew that sans would never settle for him. (A/N: well, he thought he knew ;3)

“TRUCK”

truck flinched. “H”

he wiped away his tears, and faked a smile.  
then he faked a look of concern, which is more fitting for the current situation.

he swiftly made his way to the Food Room™. “wh-what’s going on??” he asked.

“Okay. Bodd This Is-” sans begun

“I Dont Fucking Care” said bodd, throwing a whole chair at sans.

“Fuck. Okay.” said sans. “Can you intr-” bodd threw another chair at sans. And another. Sans was now covered in chairs. “i- y-you need to s-say wh-who you a-are. Please . he wont let me” sans begged, somewhat muffled, due to being buried in chairs.

Truck’s breath wavered. what was sans expecting this to do?! how could truck go against bodd_toward, what with such a good throw and an infinite arsonal of chairs?  
truck looked at his hands. His hands beckoned. he could hear his hands encouraging him. They were...his hands...were encouraging him to fight on. he smiled. “Thank you, hands.”

He took a deep breath, and looked directly at bodd. “I Don’t Believe I Properly Introduced Myself…” he started.

“I Don’t Fucking C-”

“ **My Name Is Truck.** ” he said, with a stern voice and a serious face.

bodd immediately shot out of the window. “HOW DID YOU KNOW I CAN’T FIGHT IN FRONT OF TRUUCKSSSSSSSSS…………………………..” he said, fading off into the distance. At this point sans had removed all chairs from himself. Sans patted truck on the shoulder. 

“good job.” truck’s cheeks were lightly dusted with a cute, peachy-pink color. “Oh, h-hah, thanks” he said, fidgeting a little. He started thinking. What if something like this happens again? He… he has to tell sans eventually, doesn’t he…..


	3. Spongebob And Patrick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> truck meets a new friend.

“what are you doing in this abandoned water treatment plant” said truck, sternly, still with a tinge of relief in his voice. “I have been looking all over for you Mister.”

the tiny cucumber meowed sassily at truck. “meeeooow”. He (the cucumber) had just been adopted by truck and decided to go for a stroll. :-) He was a bastard :-) And he had made a friend :-)  
the smalled tomato started whirring. who the hell was this dude, talking to his friend that way? Hell no. bastards stick together. he started barking at beil. “Squak. Squak.”  
“Hey, Bad Dog!” truck yiped. Who the hell is this tomato? Stupid Dog. You Made Me Look Bad.

meanwhile. sans was Creating. What was he creating? Oh. You Know! Something.

The tiny bastardous cucumber chortled. And chuckled. and all of those Other laughter terms that i cant be bothered to look up right now because its like 6 am and i jus;t have to get this paper done before midterms and i- The Cucumber Licked Truck. Oh my god. Slurp Sound effect goes here.  
truck sighed. this is just what happens when you adopt a tiny cucumber. “listen, can you just like . Tell Me next time you decide to go on a stroll? I got Worried.” truck said, knelt down in front of the cucumber. meanwhile the tomato was doing a jig. Just kinda there. Yeah. 

“:p” said the cucumber. good enough. the cucumber rolled the tomato (still jigging) into their Plastic Bag Carrier that was Very good. It is time to go.

Meanwhile. sams was almost done creating. You’ll see what it is very soon and No, Trevor, Its Not A Fucking XBOX.

truck picked up the Plastic Bag Carrier and pushed himself up off the ground with his four legs. He began the trek home, holding cucumber and tomato.  
He opened the door. “SAAANS I’M HOOOME” he shouted. 

“Oh ! hello and welcome back truck :-)” sans smiled kindly, now finished with his creation that truck legally has to ask about before anything more can be explained about it. “how was your search for that little cucumber (-:?”  
“Successful .” truck replied, placing the bag down on the table. “little guy was at some abandoned water treatment plant…” Truck shook his head. “Kids. but anyway, what have you been up to? :]” Truck asked. sans chuckled a bit. “Oh ……. Just the best thing ever.”

sans Pulled off the white sheet covering his creation (it was there the entire time he was working on it) to reveal a nether portal. “Its a portal to alternate dimensions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wikihow taught me how to make it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” sans explained excitedly. “However there’s one flaw….. it only takes you to one alternate dimension. You have to pay to go to the other ones. so. Um.”

“Ah, pesky in-app purchases….” truck grumbled. “But that aside, this is Amazing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he said, in amazement. He walked closer to the portal, looking at it from each possible angle. Finally, he stepped back, and looked at sans.  
“Should we . . . ?” truck looked back at the portal. it was hard not to get lost in that enticing purple glow.

“Yea. i think it will be fun! we might even meet our alternate universe selves!” sans was obviously Very knowledgeable on this topic. “However theres the possibility this is one of the universes where i dont exist. but theres always a chance !!!” sans gently took truck’s hand in his own. “Shall we? Or do you wanna bring one of your little truck toys along with?”

“Oh! That might come in handy…..” truck said. he was about to turn agound and get it, but then he realized he’d have to let go of sans’ hand And He Didn’t Wanna Do That Yet.  
so he of course took the logical alternative, and stretched his arm out to his room.  
the arm barged into the slightly open door, haphazardly pulling open a drawer and grabbing a random truck toy. The arm loosened up, and naturally zoomed back to trucks side. “Okay. Lets Go :] !!!” 

sans looked at truck in astonishment. He Didnt Know Arms Could Stretch Like Slime In An ASMR Video. “Right. Yeah. Okay. Lets do that” sans lead truck and himself into the nether portal. Off to an alternate universe they went!

and yet. through all of this. the tomato was still jigging. yknow, like a bastard.

truck stumbled dizzily out of the portal. that was a bit much for him to handle, truly sickening. but he still wanted to explore the nether! it looked pretty cool, all that fire n shit……. and ! oh! a creature. Pig On Two legs. “wow sans, look at that Pig On Two legs….” he pointed out, the Pig On Two legs.

“hooh. Wow. that pig sure is breaking the laws of physi-” oh my god sans passed out cold on the floor. Oh my god. They cant get home without him. Oh my god. thi s is terrible and look! Now the Pig On Two legs is gossiping about it with Some Sludge!

truck paled. “Oh my god. Oh my god. Sans.” he kneeled down beside sans. checking his pulse, and his other pulse, and his other other pulse.  
fortunately , all three of his pulses were okay. truck sighed in relief. “Well, Since I Can’t Leave…. Maybe I Can Look For SOmeone Who Will Help ?” he was considering just exploring the nether, but he wanted to experience it with sans… he sighed again, picking up sans and walking over to the first Pig On Two legs he saw.

“Excuse me, mister Pig On Two legs? Do you perhaps know how to help someone who’s just passed out cold? for no obvious reason?” truck inquired.

The mister Pig On Two legs oinked happily. “Why, boy, i would be no helpth to thee, but i know somebodyth that may be of helpth to thy. Him name is … Buh … Bah humbug! I cantth seemeth to remeber him name!!!” the mister Pig On Two legs turned to one of his friends. “Bertrurbe what was that fellath’s name?” Bertrurbe stopped knitting her 43 foot sweater and turned to mister Pig On Two legs. “Hmmmm… was it …… Augh ,..... Bell Wire? No …..Augh” Bertrurbe got a migraine. “Augh!!!!!!! Ball Way???? No!!!!!! Uh!!!!!!!!!!!” Bertrurbe was still thinking. [AOL DIALUP NOISE]

A tiny pigged on legs piped up, from the ground, because he was small. “um? do you mean bill wurtz ma’am and sir and sir and sir?”

“What? No it couldnt possibly be Bill W” began the mister Pig On Two legs. “Bertrurbe was it Bill Wurtz” Bertrube elongated. “YEAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Bertrube exclaimed triumphantly. “Bill Wurtz. That is his name .”  
The mister Pig On Two legs gasped! “Of course! Haha. sillyth me. Anywayth, if thine were to go to him shack on the prarie, him will fixth your.. Urm.. ERM… . .Umr. .. . are thee bewed?”  
Truck became as red as the jigging tomato. “E-E-EH???!!! N-N-N-N-NO! M- M-ME AND H-HIM?! N-NO >.... No” truck took a deep breath, he was Shaking. Like that jigging tomato.  
“but thank you. i shall be on my way.” truck began the treak to his Destination.

In the distancte, if truck listened hard enough, he was able to hear the faint jingle of “MOUNT SAINT HELENS IS ABOUT TO BLOW UP”. This is how he knew he was getting close.  
trucks pace quickened as he got closer. he would do Anything For Sans . ANYTHING . he would Die . he would Clock Komaeda Straight in his GOB but we dont talk about komaeda.  
Finally, truck slowed down, and came to a full stop in front of Bill’s Shack. having no free hands, he knocked on the door with his knee. 

Inside of the shack, a very loud record scratch was heard. Along with a muffled “sorry, little nether ants. we will have to jam another day.” 

Footsteps. Footsteeps. Gettin g closer and closetr to the door. And then the man, presumabley Bill, opened the door. “Hi, im steve! Just kidding. My name’s not steve. Its bill. What can i do you for” Bill-Not-Steve asked truck, leaning against the doorframe. Behind him was some little ants jamming along anyway on a counter, although there was no music playing. Truth is, they dont know what music sounds like, and theyre not about to learn now!

“Hi Um. My Name IS Neil. or truck is fine. i need you to please help my u-uh my friend sans here.. he’s gone and passed out for no apparent reason!” truck exclaimed. he was so very worried about sams that he didn’t even notice the ants were jamming when there was no music at all!

 

“oh yeah ok i can do that come on in” bill said, walking away from the door in order to allow truck to pass through. “You can just. sit him on that chair over there.” bill said, pointing at that chair over there. “I need you to follow me into my office”

truck nodded, passing through the doorway and setting sans down on that chair over there. He Was Now Ready To Follow Bill Into His Office.

Bill sat down on his office chair. “You can sit in that other chair, truck. because yknow. Thats how that works.”

“So tell me, truck. What do you know about sans?” bill questioned, questioningly, as he pulled out a notepad, to record the answers to his questions. ”i mean you guys look like your’e pretty close, married almost, but you can never be too sure yknow?” truck became bright red like a traffic light once more. “Why Does Everyone Keep Asking That >????!?!?!?!?! We’re Not Married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” truck said, exasperated. bill coughed under his breath, “yet”.  
truck put his face in his hands and made an exasperated truck noise.  
he took his hands away and reached into a **GG Marmont Matelassé Mini Bag** and rummaged through until he pulled out a glasses case. he then opened the case and took out the little cloth kept inside. he then took off his glasses and cleaned them. he then put the cloth back inside the case and closed the case and put it back inside the GG Marmont Matelassé Mini Bag. it’s also notable that this whole time he was making an exasperated truck noise and the GG Marmont Matelassé Mini Bag Was now nowhere to be seen.

“Alright well while you were doing that i actually filled out all of the answers for you so now your Friend will be fine. Follow me again” bill said, getting up from him office chair and walking into a different room connected to his office. It was filled with pianos and various other instruments. So manty. You could make so many songs in here bro.  
truck also got up and followed bill into the instrumental room. Wow. sick. truck looked around the room in awe. Bro…. So Many Instruments.

“What do you think we’re doing in here truck”  
“I. are we doing anything with the instruments.”  
“Yeah. we’re gonna boil one of them to put it in the soup. Which one do you think sans would like the most? i cant predict musical taste based off of somebody’s lifeless body”  
truck thought for a moment. he looked around at all the instruments.  
finally, one caught his eye.

“Tromboooooone…..” he said, in a soft voice. “That’s The One.”

“ah, i knew somebody who also liked the trombone.” bill said, sadly. But then he perked back up. “Alright, bring it into the final room. Wait actually” you’ll never guess where bill stepped into nexy. It was actually a side room filled with snacks. He grabbed a twinkie. “Ok sorry now we can go into the final room” “Ah ok”

They were now in the final room. There was something over the fire boiling. It was a water bottle. bill shoved the paper and twinkie into the water bottle easily. The water bottle quietly went “hh.. . ye e h a.w. . .” before quieting back down again. 

truck looked down at the trombone he was holding. it had this motivational shine. he approached the water bottle. “so do i just…”

truck began… easing the trombone into the water bottle. although he was hesitant at first, he soon found that the trombone went in rather easily.

“cool, so, while that’s busy boiling and morphing and such, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself truck?”

“hmm... “ truck thought. “well i like to make music. sometimes it’s about trucks, resurrected celebrities… uhhhh….crayons” truck thought more. “i like trucks. i have some mini trucks in my room. like this one.” he held out the tiny spongebob truck. it was mostly yellow but it also looked like spongebob. bill gasped in shock! :O “hang on is- is that a _spongebob truck?_ ” bill asked in shock. “I.. i-i” bill quickly summoned his very own…. Patrick bus. “i.. i also like to make music but like holy shit dude?” truck was shocked. what could this mean? “what does this mean…..it’s as though we are……..the same…….” truck moved his spongebob truck a little closer to the patrick bus.  
“Almost so……………” bill then had a shocking revealation. They both have a sans. Or, well. He **had** a snas. And they both liked music. And they both had. Sponegbob related motor vehicle toys. “neil truck …………………… how did you _get here_?”  
“I.. i went trough a purple portal…. from the alternate universe that i call home…….oh my god.” it was all making sense. Bill is neil and Neil is bill. Spongebob Truck. Patrick Bus.

“Th.. this is revelational! This is so cool! What is your alternate universe l- oh hey the waters done lets go save your Friend” bill said picking up the water bottle off of the fire, and then eating the fire. 

Bill and truck walked back to the front room where sans was. “Okay. you do the honors.” bill handede the water bottle to truck. truck gently took the water bottle, and walked closer to sans.

he began pouring it directly on sanses forehead. “D **rr _Ri i_** i i _Ii I_ N k.. …. ……” he said until the concoction was all poured out.

“Ghghgh .g.ggh ,g.hg.hg.g.h.g.d..h.hft/h/fty.fth.t,.fh,ftyj. tty/.fth.gh./fhg,ng.hg,/ h.g,n.t/drt,hmrr/dghg/.,h..df.gh,h,h.th/.dt,jty.h/t.jt.yjf, **TRUCK I L-** ” sans shouted, bolting upwards. “O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh i . i mean. Um. where am i? oh hey truck.”  
Truck Was Taken Aback. his cheeks were slightly dusted pink. “hey sans !!!!!!!!!!! you passed out so … .. . .. … Bill Helpted You.! :]” truck said, looking over at bill, and then back at sans .

Sans gave bill a side eye. Hmmm. he didnt trust him. “Thank you . bill.” sans forced out an apology. He was more interested in talking to truck however.  
“oh no problem it wasnt that hard to-” bill began, but was cut off by sans.  
“So truck how long was i out? did you get hurt?” sans asked, very concerned.  
“oh, i’m fine don’t worry! uhh, i’m not quite sure how long you were out.. i got a little distracted by a lot of thoughts.. And things. maybe it was like ehhhhhhh a thousand or so characters ago?” truck estimated. (A/N: omg truck dont break the 4th wall we just repaired that xd)  
“Oh………………………..” sans said, quietly. He shifted so he was sitting normally on the chair. What the fuck? Did that bill try to “so, who’s this bill fella exactly?”  
“oh, bill is , well, me! and i’m bill! bill and i are alternate universe versions of each other!” truck said excitedly.  
sans looked at bill. And then at truck. And then bill again. Blonde hair. One messy one clean. Glasses. Glasses sometimes. Music. Music also. ………………………………. Huh  
“Oh, h-haha! Isn’t that just great! So is there an alternate universe version of me?” sans laughed awkwardly, trying to make it unawkward. but little did he know he just made it worse.

“oh. well. he… i mean, snas, uh. He passed away due to being eaten by some totinos pizza sludge. 10 years ago to be exact.” bill said sadly, looking down, sad.  
“Oh…………………..” sans said. “oh.. So sorry to hear that :[“ truck sad, saidly. Wai

truck realized. “oh, guess we should probably go now if we still wanna explore this universe huh?” he said to sans.

Phew. “yeah, we should. You can wait outside for me, truckie. i think i dropped something in here.” sans said. He really didnt drop anything he just wanted to be dramatic to bill for a minute.  
“oh, ok sansy.” he looked over at bill and waved. “bye bill!” he said, and skipped out of the shack, waiting for sans outside.

sans stood up. “I didn’t really drop anything. i just wanted to be dramatic to you before i left. Anyway. You Had best stay away from truck. You’ll. Um. Cause a time loop. And then we’ll all be stuck in this situation forever with no way out. And um. You’ll feel bad.” sans was awful at lying. The truth was he was worried that truck would want to live in this alternate universe forever without him.

“........ok”

And then sans left. “Haha! As it turns out it was just in my pocket! :-)” “oh! you’re so silly sans.” truck giggled. “so, which direction do you think we should go?” “i think….. We should go …… forward! also did anybody say anything weird? Like how did you even get me here? Didnt you have to ask for directions? did anybody comment on us.” sans asked curiously. He liked to know what people thought about him. “oh, i did ask a Pig On Two legs where i could get help. and he thought we were bewedded….” truck said, there he went blushing again -_-”’  
sans chuckled, a light blush dusting across hism cheeks. “hah!! it would be an honor for me to be bewedded to such a nice truck such as yourself” that was supposed to be a joke but it didnt quite turn out the way he’d hoped. Quickly, to distract from That and sans’ growing blush, he said “haha! Well let’s go!” and started walking forwards but slowly so truck could keep up.

truck made a risky decision, and he Didn’t Let Go Just Yet. “..would it really?” he said. He was very red. if this went awry and sans said he was just joking he would die right then and there so this was a big risk he was taking. “i- of course it would be!!!! i’m sorry if i made it weird i was just, um, you know, um, being, um, uh, erm, honest, haha.” sans choked out. Who knew a skelekin could get so red i mean blue. “well i … uh. i think that woudl um. be an honor also. i mean to be bewedded to you not to me. i should clarify . that .” truck said nervously, smoke coming from his ears. after all, he is a truck

“Hh- hah. Ye-yeah. So. um. whatdoesthismeanforus?” sans quickly asked. “i- i dont know.. ….. .. . …. .. … ..” truck started. “i mean, do you want to, um, be , um , uh……” truck was becoming redder and redder by the minute. “should we…..become…...b.b.b.b.b.b.b..b.b.b.bb..bbbboooyyfrrr.ennds…. ..?????????”

“O.O that would bb-b-b--b-b--be g-rreagtgreat . i mean unless youre joking but if yorue not then um yeah sure O///////////////O”  
“N-no!!! OWO i- i’m not joking…..this isn’t a lawl XD sans….. I Want This”  
“i…………...wow……………...i-i thought you’d never see me like this. ……………………..i ….um….i lov e youy tru ck…….” truck was so happy he might just Cry . Oil.  
Tears Of oil. “i love you too !!!!!!!!!!!!” truck replied .

He was thinking this is the Start of a New and Loveley Beginning :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are you joking? did you actually read all of that? there's no way. no way. oh my god. how did you do that
> 
> (IGNORE THE NOTE BELOW THIS I CANT GET IT TO GO AWAY I DONT KNOW HOW IT GOT HERE PLEASE SEND H -JUPITERS_SATURN ALSO THIS IS THE SECOND TIME IVE WRITTEN THIS BC STRAWBERRY TRIED TO FIX IT AFTER I ALREADY EDITED IT HERE SO NOW ITS JUST A BIG MESS)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> If you're here! And you made it this far!
> 
>  
> 
> who forced u
> 
> blink twice if you're in danger


End file.
